The Cosmic Hospital for Lost and Damaged Souls
Monday, February 05, 2007
My little shadow is dead
Not sure what happened but I think she died. Her light began to fade last night and by the time I finished working today there was no more light, just darkness. I can’t keep chasing a dream that will never come true, I quit.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
My little shadow in ICU
OK after a day on life support in intensive care, my little shadow is still in critical condition but at least she’s stabelized. There is a small teeny tiny glimmer of hope. Can’t give up hoping maybe she will survive. Trying to keep a posative outlook. Hoping for another helping hand in the darkness, maybe if I just believe it will be.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Cosmic Hospital for Lost and Damaged Souls
I have spent the past five days wandering the halls of theCosmic
Hospital for Lost and Damaged Souls. While we wait the endless hours for ‘my little shadow’ to recover. Hour upon hour begging, pleading, waiting, and wandering.
What a sad and desperate place we are in. Floor upon floor, hallway after hallway, room after room of souls lost and damaged some beyond repair. There have been a few occasions in my endless wandering when I have been privledged to witness the reunion of a recovered soul with it’s companion. Alas these are few and far between. Many of the rooms still have visitors trying to convince their soul to hang on, praying for recovery. Sadly though most souls are alone, barely clinging to life as their mate has given up all hope of recovery. In the darkest hours between dusk and dawn, you hear the alarms as soul after soul departs this world for a brighter place. During these hours I sit by my little shadows bedside and beg her to ignore the beckoning from the other side. I’m not ready to let her go yet. I swear to her that if she’ll just come back I’ll make the journey without complaint. Yet she lays there barely clinging to life, trying to come back longing to stop trying.
In the hours of wandering I’ve come to understand that it is I that brought us here. I am the one that is killing her. When He was with us our world was bright and full of light When He left us the world became dark, this darkness attracted more darkness, until the light from my little shadow burned out. As she tried to light my way she was consumed by the darkness. I knew she was too young to deal with my real life, it was more then she could bear. I allowed the darkness to come, the pressures to build, the lies to go unchecked, ignoring the warnings. Now it’s too late, will she survive the blow?
I know if I am to save ‘My little shadow’ I must go back to the path she was dragging me down and travel along it alone. She will not be there to guide me or tell me which way to go. I fear that I may find myself for ever lost in the winding roads of time never able to find my way back to my little shadow. I know I must find a way to deal with the poisons being fed to her very soul. The darkness must be lifted, the lies revealed, the demands from outsiders that have no hold on my life. Will I find my way back? Will the trials of searching for the antidote beat me? Will I get lost never to greet her again? What lies ahead is unknown the path is dark and full of many pitfalls. Danger lies ahead but for my little shadow the search must begin…
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