The most popular Shadow blog. Free falling
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Free falling
I move forward just a step and the path vanishes from under my feet. Free falling, no beginning, no end, nothing to run from, nothing to find, just me in a place no time, no goals, no guilt, no dreams. Just falling into emptiness, a ghost, not a shadow, not a life not a being just a ghost free falling through time.
As I fall in my never ending tumble through time I have only me to talk to, no one hears my cries, and if they could they could not help. For now I am on my own, what is going on this was supposed to be simple, how hard can it possibly be to find the peace, love, and joy that my little shadow had shown me? I knew her so well, she was with me all the time He was in my life, and I know she was not just with him. So why now am I free falling? Where did I take a wrong turn? I quit the game, cut the cord, left the baggage behind on his front lawn, still the only thing I hear is the future calling my name, begging me to stay. How can I turn my back on that desperate cry? Some cords can not be cut, some voices will not be drowned out, the future still cries for salvation. The future is innocent, has no choice, not to blame, guiltless, just an innocent bystander caught in the hell that is to come. He made his choices no one consult us for our opinions, now we suffer alone, separated by time, and space, the future and I endangered because he didn’t stop to think beyond himself. No warnings got through, he turned a deaf ear, not caring what may happen tomorrow, only thinking of his today, now the future will suffer. I try to hold on, I know I can not let go, my little shadow and I will join some day, for now she lays in own little version of hell, waiting for me to rescue her as well.
Free falling, through time and space, nobody knows, nobody cares, they don’t see I’m no longer there, they don’t see past the soul-less body that moves in their time. My heart and my soul are searching in this empty place trying to find the answers to questions, solutions to the problems, a journey through time to see what will happen. Every attempt to change the outcome has brought further disaster in this place with no time. It’s all here in this place yesterday, today, and all the tomorrows. Every choice, and the end result, it ripples with the effects of moment by moment decisions. Free falling, watching the ripples in time trying to connect while staying disconnected. I search for the answers the solution, and the antidote, yet all the while I close my eyes not wanting to see the results.
Free falling, waiting, in a place with no time, and no space, waiting for the answers I don’t want to hear, free falling enjoying the silence for now. As long as I fall they can not catch me I’m free for now no more struggle no more pain, the fall will end and I must prepare but for now free falling is what I desire, no time, no space, no connections no cares, just free falling for now.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
My Little Shadow calls
My days in this place without time are coming to an end. I believed here, free falling tumbling through time and space invisible to the forces of the world I could hide, no one could see me, no one could hear me, no one could catch me, free falling. I believed ‘my little shadow’ to be barely clinging to live back at the Cosmic Hospital for Lost and Damaged Souls, I waited to hear that alarm signaling her departure for a better place where there was no pain or sorrow. ‘My little shadow’ she’s a touch little cookie she holds on just waiting for me to find that cure that allow us to join forever. The only one, the only thing that could reach me here in this place, ‘my little shadow’ came to me, whispered in my ear, spoke to my very heart, and soul: “you know you can not remain in this place, it’s time for your journey to continue” We spent the afternoon enjoying each others company, pleasant moments full of excitement, I hear the call of my journey returning. My quest will not be ignored or abandond but the peace of my free fall beckons as well. Like a joyful vacation, ending to soon I cling desperately not yet ready to leave begging for more time here alone.Free falling, coming to an end, the emptiness of time and space now filling with the things that I’d been hiding from. ‘My little shadow’ showed them the way, the magic of this place with no time and no space, there’s always a way never truly alone never safe. Once again my path is calling, guides reaching out to offer a now intrusive hand, the game that had ended still waiting for that final move, the future still beckoning and as always ‘my little shadow’ taunting me forward, rejoin the path your vacation is over no more time in this place, with no time and no space, come back to the path you are meant to follow.
Still I fall not as freely as before to many things get in the way. I know the journey will continue all to soon. I want to return, but long to stay, but any joy in the my fall is now fading, the sound of my path, and all that is there is now filling my ears, my heart and my soul. I will return I know this but at least for tonight, I will rest, and see what the morning brings, time is returning, not a good sign one more night free falling, blocking out the noise of tomorrow.
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