Lost in the time slips and the severed cord
Friday, March 16, 2007
My little shadow lost in the time slips
They say it’s the moon, everything is out of whack, time is in a funk, I move in yesterday when it’s tomorrow, today doesn’t exist till next week.. You think you’re confused just imagine trying to live in this time zone. Depression and mood swings, confusion, insanity, and worst of all the feeling of being lost in time. My guides are just as lost as I am. Word on the street the solar eclipse will bring it back in alignment. I guess we’ll find out in a couple of days.
The journey has slowed during the time slips. With ‘my little shadow’ in yestday I am traveling in tomorrow. Sliding through time I’ve had several close calls with the yesterdays I’ve left behind. As time made it’s first slip,I fell backwards and landed squarely in front of the crossroad. It began to tug at me and almost sucked me in, fortunately a guiding hand slipped past just as I was almost at the point of no return. Once again on solid ground back on the path of tomorrow, I attempted to hold on till things settle down. A twist and a shift and oops I was ripped free of my anchor and slid back back backwards again. Thinking as fast as the new slip would allow my guides mantra sounded off, ground ground ground, focus and protect. Hard to ground with your feet over your head, focus, protect how when your your mind is in another time zone. Ground, focus, protect, focus first, then protect and ground try it backwards and maybe I would not get sucked back into that pit of dispair back at the crossroads from hell.
Focus, occupy look for a new route through the time shift. A new guide, the violet flame, research, study, decree, learn, focus, manifest, maintain, move forward inch by inch. The violet flame begins to bring ‘my little shadow’ closer. Keeping my eye on the violet flame the crossroad again fades to it’s place in the past, it beckons, out of phase I glance back but the violet flame holds me fast till the moment passes.
Two more days the moon is coming back in alignment with time, and the past will be gone. The path is still there, ‘my little shadow’ is coming nearer, the guides are there, and now the violet flame is lighting my way.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The severed cord
Not the destination I expected. Not so long ago I began this journey to find my path in life, in search of ’my little shadow’. It feels as though I’ve been traveling for years, hard to believe it’s barely been 2 month.
Looking back, it’s been a journey of heart ache and sorrow, joys and laughter, good days and horrid ones as well. One hurdle after another, approached, tackeled, beaten or faced again. The journey bagan to escape yet another heart break, another love abandoned for no reason, here today gone tomorrow, leaving me sitting at a crossroad with my heart in pieces again.
At first I just wanted to sit there and cry, tired of this trip from heart break to heart break, convinced he would return some day. I played this game before, wait it out he’ll be back, don’t matter what he’s done. Had ‘my little shadow’ not come to me that night and whispered her message of hope in my ear, I would be sitting there waiting today, shattered heart still laying on the ground. Her message four little words, the message not what was spoken, brought hope and joy to my heart and my soul. The message private, meant only for my heart words to heal my soul, four little words misunderstood and mis-interpretted by all but the ears meant to hear them. They got me moving, I began the journey away from the intersection that led to the path we had shared. He called me back so often, the trip in circles, the near death of ‘my little shadow’. After a month of traveling no place it was time for the game to end, I cut the cord, with him. That cord that allowed him to speak to my mind, tug at my heart, and rip at my very soul. With the cord cut, I was free to move along my path, no longer did I hear his call, feel his presence, bare the pain of his being.
It sent me into a free fall, the new silence deafening, no longer connected to what I discovered to be my twin flame, but when the free fall was over I was again on solid ground. Mind clearer able to see the path ahead, the journey to look forward to, and new challenges to meet. ‘My little shadow’ traveling with me showing the things I must do to have her with me always, I met each challenge, won some, lost some, and at a draw with others. Guides always present helping me along the way.
After the cord was cut I was free, I didn’t expect the end result. As I moved forward there was a pull back to the crossroad over and over. The visits were short though and the trip resumed, never a desire to stay, each return shorter, each return becoming more repulsive. I didn’t understand, not then and just barely now, something was changing. Communications from him got more bitter, his ability to recollect what had happened seemed to vanish, suddenly I was the bad guy, (say what?), we couldn’t be friends because of things I did. Lost and confused I asked him why, his response was pure hatred, angry and more confused I fired back and deleted him from myspace and my life. New anger, new pain, new forgiveness to find.
My search for answers brought me new understanding, the severed cord all hacked and cut laying on the ground. It brought freedom to me, I knew what was going on. I didn’t think about him, and how he may react. He didn’t believe in the cord, I thought it was one way, looking back I can see that it wasn’t, did he know it was there? Did he consciously know I had cut it? I don’t know. Did his heart and soul feel the disconnection? I have no dought. His little shadow is now lying in the hospital for lost and damaged souls. No one to care for it does he even know it’s missing? Can she bring it back? The temptation to visit is strong, His soul was so precious to mine. But if I visit, the cord may reconnect and that is a chance I can not take. I now understand why our paths joined all those months ago, we both had a journey of healing and forgiveness to take, he was not ready to make it, I on the other hand am.
The final cord lays severed on the ground, his heart and soul, lie next to it, the ball is in her court hopefully she will rescue him from his own private hell as I would have done, I turn and join hands with ‘my little shadow’ and walk into the sunset together. The real journey can now begin!
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